As My Wife Says…


The schedule fairy threw up on our calendar. We’ve been busy with therapy appointments, dentists, and caseworker visits. Now, we’re busy with all of that AND all of our Christmas schedule with family. Every weekend this month has at least one thing we’re committed to, and I don’t have any time off left to spend the holidays at home.

It’s been quite awhile since I wrote about my family; about how we’re doing on the foster-to-adopt process. Well, we have three kids now. All adorable and as kids tend to be, bewildering, frustrating, cute, fun, and a huge blessing. The oldest is in second grade and the other two are close to preschool age. We just celebrated the youngest’s birthday and he’s ecstatic over the toys he got. 

We’ve had plenty of ups and downs within this short year, but we’re in a position we’ve longed for. Very, very soon, we’ll be signing the last piece of paper to say that we want to adopt these children. After we sign this document, we await a court date. If all goes well, we’ll be able to finalize no later than March. We’re excited and scared all at the same time. There’s much to be said with finally having caseworkers no longer invading my family’s home. There’s also a lot to be said about a certain level of support that will go away. Not fully, but mostly.

However, I firmly believe that the system that envelopes the Division of Family and Children Services (DFCS) is pretty much broken. It’s a joke. I’ve been told that these caseworkers must give permission to do all kinds of things. Some of them so ridiculous that it has actually inhibited the stability of many children. The stability I’m talking about covers all aspects. Mental, physical, and ensuring a permanent home. A friend of mine has been waiting on a court date for almost, or over a year just to finalize on their son. There’s nothing more to it than keeping the child in limbo for whatever reason. Laziness. I’m sure there are other reasons, but from my experience working with DFCS, rarely does it make any logical sense.

Anyway, this is one aspect of what’s continued to keep me away from here. Once involved with the mix of foster care, you’re either a parent passionate for the children and their needs, or you become a glorified babysitter. We’ve been passionate  and have had many disagreements with DFCS. However, we’re all working through it to the final goal.

A colleague of mine is actually take their own path into the world of adoption. From my conversation with him, it’s already been a huge blessing and something him and most of his family is looking forward to. They can be found here:  Blessings in Liberia

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