The anxiety I had spoke of in my last entry went away pretty fast that evening. Our caseworker for this part is an extremely nice woman and very, very efficient. Both visits were comfortable and relaxing for the most part. I just wish we were more rested for these last two. It’s been crazy busy with work and with trying to prepare the house for children, we just don’t seem to have much time to rest.
Last weekend, we made some time to do some of the things we enjoy doing the most. On top of that, we finished the putting new carpet in the bedroom and built a bunk bed. 😀 That room now smells so much fresher it’s unreal. Now, as for tonight. The good thing is, we’re leaving work a little early to clean up a little after ourselves. Since it’s been such a long two weeks, our house has been in several stages of chaos. It’s not that bad right now, but we do need to accomplish a few minor things. Tonight is my one-on-one conversation with the caseworker. I’m not sure if I even have any reservations, or feelings about it. Right now, it’s another step in bringing home our kids. The only thing that I’m nervous about tonight is the walk-through of the house. Being that we’re still working on some things, I hope it’s good enough for her.
Almost all of our paperwork is back. Our doctor’s office decided to have a brain fart and not remember to send my wife’s medical papers. So, they are now in transit to the adoption agency. :-\ At least we caught it before it started to impact our homestudy being able to go for approval.
I have a few things I’ve learned so far and think I should list them. This is concerning my opinion about the State Adoption program for Georgia, but I’m sure some of this could apply to other types of adoption.
- When working on your self-assessment, be open and thorough. You don’t have to be so detailed that you give a minute-by-minute on yourself, but it helps the process if you’re thorough. This eliminates a lot of questions the one doing the homestudy has to ask. He/she may just want you to elaborate on some things.
- Be ready for the unexpected. For us, things have gone extremely well. So far, the whole adoption process has been smooth, aside from some emotional anxieties. However, we’ve heard from a lot of people how bumpy their experience has been.
- When talking with your caseworker, don’t make them pull answers like you’re in for an interrogation. It’s a conversation, not a firing squad.
- Think about everything. Consider everything. A human child isn’t a puppy and there is a lot more to think about.
- Don’t be judgemental. I almost typed ‘ set aside judgements’ but that would defeat what I mean. What I’m referring to is about the birth parents, the government, foster parents, anyone involved, race, ethnicity, religion, etc. We’ve seen several people so far who cast judgements without knowing all the facts. Be open, honest, and take into consideration of what someone else could’ve gone through.
- Make sure you evaluate your motives for adoption. Ours? We want a family of our own, but have problems becoming pregnant. Other people are different, but I remember my wife telling me about a person that she overheard their phone conversation. The person on the other side apparently asked this lady why she wanted to adopt. She said, “My mother recently passed away. After a long time grieving, my husband asked me what he could do to make me happy. A new car? A new house? and I said, I want to adopt a child.” This shocked us pretty good. Bringing kids into a family should never be a try at fixing emotional scars and losses. We just hope her motives are more well defined as she moves forward.
I’m sure there will be more learning as we come closer to meeting our child and making them a part of our overall family, but these were a few things that has stuck with me so far. I just felt compelled to share those thoughts.