Slowly Becoming A Dad


Going through the adoption process so far has been a bit interesting. It never was something to take lightly, but with the added paperwork and hoops we have to jump through, there’s a lot more to think about. Every soon-to-be parent goes through all of the questions about whether they’ll be a good parent. However, when you’re forced to go over your whole childhood, beliefs, marriage, relationships with other family members, and in general, what makes you who you are, you dig a lot deeper than the surface questions.

My upbringing may not be as rough as some, but I have experienced my own abuses growing up. Between sexual abuse and emotional abuse, I have experienced a lot more than many of my friends and it all has shaped me into who I am today. The difference, in my opinion has been how I have let it all affect me. Also, because we haven’t gone through the home study yet, I’m sure there will be more questions about my childhood, but it’s better to be able to tell my story and learn from it. I’m sure I’ll have to tell it again to our social worker.

 Given that we have to go through so much to become parents, it makes me wish biological parents, or sometimes just incubators, had to go through more red tape before the birth of their child. Parenting classes, childhood assessment, and how to avoid repetitive parenting behaviors could be very beneficial for many people. Maybe then, people would think a little better before reacting to something and doing harm. Who am I kidding. People are people. We may not intentionally do harm, nor are we really evil, it’s just stupidity that tends to get in the way.

 Speaking of hoops and red tape, I had my physical and drug test yesterday. Something that everyone in the household pretty much needs to do. I didn’t realize that testing for TB was so crucial for an adoption within the States. Also, I never thought about having to shell out $120 just for the two page document and physical from the adoption agency to be filled out by my doctor. That’s just for my documents, too. The lovely Mrs. still has to has to do the same thing with another $120. Maybe that’s inexpensive, but I can only imagine how much it would’ve been without insurance. Thankfully, we have a reimbursement plan at work for pretty much every expense related to the adoption, up to a certain amount.

Well, we’ve turned in about 98% of our paperwork to the agency and am now waiting for the call from our social worker to set up some time for our first visit of the home study. I’m excited. I can’t believe we’ve already gone through this much of the process and yet, it still seems like a long way out before we can finally bring home children and call them our own. God willing, it will happen soon. God willing, we’ll be parents of beautiful children and can finally have a family of our own.

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