A Family?


As my lovely wife spoke in her blog, The Abused Book Liberation Project, we’re working on starting what many would call, a non-traditional family. The adoption process has been fascinating so far and I can’t believe the amount of support adoptive parents get through and after having children.

Because of our upbringings, biology doesn’t matter like it would with some families. What constitutes who is family and who is not anyway? My parental family has split and gone their separate ways to start new families. We’re not as close as we used to be, but I talk with my parents when I have some free time. My younger brother and I talk fairly often, even if there’s really nothing to talk about. But to me, it all seems a little superficial at times. My in-laws have become a close family to me over the years. They accepted me as an outsider to their close internal family and I have become a functioning part of them in support and love.

My dear wife and I have struggled a lot with trying to have children of our own biological makeup. But when we talk about family together, biology doesn’t come into an honest feeling for the desire of parenthood. Our nephew, who is just five months old, seems like our own child. My step-sister’s oldest boy started to feel like one of our own kids every time we were able to see him. With this in mind, I know that any child we can bring into our lives, whether adopted or biological, will be loved wholeheartedly. So, while we go through the process of domestic adoption within Georgia, I know that we can be the parents we strive to be and that our children will be loved, cared for, and supported as they grow. A family isn’t always traditional, nor is it always what we expect. If I can be a dad to a kid who needs one, who am I to be selfish and only accept a child of my own blood? I don’t care about that as much as just wanting to be a dad.

 In this process so far, I do have to say that I’m overwhelmed and excited. It doesn’t feel like this is real yet, but I’m sure it will all sink in the closer we get to actually bringing a child or children home. I think there’s a lot of focus in jumping through hoops and learning all we can through these classes. Of course we will have the pre-parent jitters and anxieties, but I guess every parent goes through all the questions on whether they will be a good parent when expecting their child. Our situation just tends to be a little different.

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